Moving creates an opportunity to confront the things we have accumulated and can force us to decide what to keep and what to get rid of...I think of possessions as being comprised of two categories: "things" and "stuff". Things are what we ascribe meaning while stuff is disposable. We also create levels of value to the things we are disposing of by deciding whether to gift a person we know, donate, or send to the dump. Seven years ago, I moved out of my large home in the country into a 1300 square foot home near the beach. It was a deep experience to confront everything from books to cookware to canning supplies, art materials and things such as leashes and pet bowls. The dog items are a great example of how the decision process worked. As I looked at the materials which had been necessities of life for years, I was forced to decide about keeping them "in case" or getting rid of them. I no longer had a dog, but one day, might wish to again. My decision was easy. I did not have room to store stuff I didn't need in the present, so out they went. What was harder to dispose of were the years and years of art work created by my children. I could not possibly keep everything, so I kept one sculpture and one painting from each of them.When you are down-sizing you are faced with either a crisis or an opportunity, as you get to confront your past, and decide what your present and future selves truly need.
I had some clients who literally spent six months emptying their home on the West Side to prepare for going on the market. They were overjoyed when the process was done. A client who owned a 5000 square foot mansion on Ocean View Avenue waited to sell her things until after we were in escrow. The antiques dealer held the sale in the house. When the sale was over, I stopped by to check on her. "Are you O.K." I asked. "Oh, Anina!" she said. "Why didn't you make me do this sooner!" She was delighted to be freed of the memories and items which tied her to her past.
I was recently visiting a dear friend, who at 95, is still healthy, lives in her own home and is dancing in both the US and overseas. She and her husband had great collections of art and momentos of her travels as a performing artist. She even has a real Yoda which was given to her husband by Steven Spielberg! Her husband passed away several years ago. I was surprised to find many empty shelves in her home. She explained that she is in the process of sorting every drawer and shelf and giving away her possessions. She is deciding which of her things will go to her daughters, which to museums and archives and which she will keep for now. She described the task as an act of both mourning and of celebration.
My mother is a musician and a dancer. She now lives in a six hundred square foot apartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. In the living room of her one bedroom flat, she has a baby grand piano which was given to her on the day she was born, an upright piano for jamming with friends and, stored under her baby grand lives a stand up base. Her kitchen is the size of a closet, which it once was and she just got rid of her sofa so that she could put up work tables to be able to more easily reach the current compositions on which she is working. Both her bedroom and the living room are lined with floor to ceiling built in bookshelves, in which are stored compositions created over her years as a musician and dancer. At 88, she is constantly de-cluttering and she complains about the extra papers and stuff she doesn't need. What is striking to me though, is how her life is pared down to what she does need- her piano and her compositions, both in process and extant, and the seven books she has published since she retired at age 75. Her things are not "stuff"; they are alive and vibrant and necessary.
I know that I for one will enjoy my time in early January better if I can de-clutter now. My friend, Shannon McGinnis, has a website and a book called "The 10 Minute Tidy". You can see an example of one of her lists on my Anina Van Alstine Facebook Page, or you can look up her app here.
If you are thinking about moving any time in the future, this is a good tip... start early. You can work in layers. But, when I come to "stage" your home, I will tell you this. Any closet, no matter how large, looks small if things are crammed in to it topsy turvy. Any closet, no matter how small, looks big enough, if things are orderly and in their place.
So happy new year, and if you want to have a great laugh, watch the attached youtube video of George Carlin, talking about "Stuff".
